Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Cuse Cast LXII

KingOtto and Cuseman preview the season by breaking down each unit and the offering a prediction of things to come. Including the opener against Northwestern.

Length about 26:45

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Tale of the Tape: Northwestern vs Syracuse

I want everybody in the place to put your hands together and make some nah-oys! I can’t hear you. I still can’t hear you! Give it up y’all for the return of the ToT!!!!!!!!!!!

Don’t call it a comeback, ToTs been here for years. Rockin its peers and putting suckas in fear. Some of y’all might know this, and some of y’all don’t. It’s that ol’ skool ToT with that new skool hit. And it goes a little sumptin like this…

Its the sport of kings, better than diamond rings. Football, Wildcats as in NW, SUs first opponent of the year. So with a new season upon us, what will SU do? Well the question isn’t what are we going to do, it’s what aren’t we going to do?

Born on Date
NW: 1851 vs SU: 1870
Otto’s Edge: NW… which was founded to serve the people of the Northwest Territory, hence the name.

Founded by? Anyone? Anyone?
NW: Methodists vs SU: Methodists
Otto’s Edge: Push… John Evans, who Evanston is named after, was one of the founders of NW. Then he became Governor of the Territory of Colorado, founding the University of Denver out there.

Speaking of Evanston...

GPS (location)
NW: Evanston vs SU: Syracuse
Otto’s Edge: NW... they have a tax exempt status and pay no property taxes to the city

Evanston is located on...

NW: Michigan vs SU: Onondaga
Otto’s Edge: NW… it is a Great Lake after all

Also on Lake Michigan is...

Major City
NW: Chicawgo vs SU: NYC
Otto’s Edge: SU… Orange is in the Apple! Too bad this game wasn’t played closer to NYC or we would win easily.

You can get around Chicago by using the...

NW: Purple Line of the El vs SU: Elmira Express Ernie Davis
Otto’s Edge: SU… let’s see the Purple Line get a movie about it

Sticking with trains, as in minds....

NW: 12th in US News vs SU: 62nd
Otto’s Edge: NW… our academics have been dropping worse than our FB program

Communications School
NW: Medill vs SU: Newhouse
Otto’s Edge: SU… I dunno which is better but I do know we need a W somewhere

Some of those students run the...

School Paper
NW: Daily NW (1881) vs SU Daily Orange (1903)
Otto’s Edge: Push… I see both schools took a long time thinking up the name.

Sticking with names...

Team Name
NW: Wildcats vs SU: Orange
Otto’s Edge: NW... we should be the OrangeMEN!

A nickname often associated with ones manhood...

NW: Willie the Wildcat vs SU: Otto the Orange
Otto’s Edge: SU… Willie sounds like a better name for South Carolina’s mascot

Also supporting the team is the...

Otto’s Edge: SU… our band hurts your ears only sumb of the time (that’s because they aren’t large enough to make a lot of noise). The NW band will leave you feeling numb. Bah dum dum.

Staying with numb, as in numbers...

All Time Wins
NW: 489 vs SU: 691
Otto’s Edge: SU… NW holds the all time record for Ls, points allowed, and point differential.

They have been losing since...

First Year of FB
NW: 1876 vs SU: 1889
Otto’s Edge: NW... at least they have been losing to real teams unlike our friends in Jersey

And more NW futility...

We’re going streaking
NW: Losing (34 straight games, 23 straight seasons 1972-1994) vs SU: Winning (15 straight seasons 1987-2001, 22 straight with .500 or better 1950-1971)
Otto’s Edge: SU… when they set the 34 game record in 1981 (losing 61-14 to Mich St), students rushed the field to celebrate, chanting “we’re the worst” and took down the goalposts.

Speaking of Mich St…

Hardest Loss
NW: 41-38 to Mich St in 2006 (biggest comeback in NCAA history) vs SU: home games being moved to MetLife
Otto’s Edge: SU… In that game NW was up 38-3 with under 10 min in the 3rd Q.

Mich State is a conf rival but not NWs...

Biggest Rival
NW: Illinois vs SU: NY State Fair
Otto’s Edge: NW… they used to play Illinois for the Sweet Sioux Tomahawk (until 2008), which has been replaced by the Land of Lincoln Trophy (seriously PC police?). Surprisingly NW only trails Illinois 46-54-5 all time. Also NW has played 8 teams (Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Mich, Minn, OSU, UP, and Wisc) more times than anyone SU has played.

And those teams play in the...

Founding Members of
NW: Big Ten vs SU Big East
Otto’s Edge: NW… although we out bitches! BTW NW grads are likely the only ones in the B1G who can count to 12 and know how dumb a name the B1G is.

Conf Championships
NW: 8 vs SU: 4
Otto’s Edge: SU… the BE hasn’t been around as long otherwise we would have more. Even so we have more conf championships since 1936 (4 to 3) and NW had none from 1936-1995.

The conf champ goes to the BCS...

NW: 1-9 vs SU: 13-9-1
Otto’s Edge: SU… NWs first Bowl game was the 1949 Rose Bowl. Michigan was the conf champ but the rule back then said a team couldn’t go consecutive years. So NW played instead. Otherwise they would be Bowless until 1995. Ironically the first Bowl was the only one they won. They upset an undefeated Cal team that was coached by Pappy Waldorf, who was NWs coach from 1935-1946 and their All Time W leader.

Sticking with coaches...

Former HCs
NW: Ara Parseghian, Dennis Green vs SU: Ben Schwartzwalder, Coach Mac, Coach P
Otto’s Edge: NW… overall their coaches had more success. Although our coaches were more successful while coaching for SU than they were for NW. Ara is 4th all time in Ws at NW with a 36-35-1 record.

Former player and current HC
NW: Pat Fitzgerlad vs SU: Doug Marrone
Otto’s Edge: NW... Also Fitzgerald won the Nagurski and Bednarik awards as a player. Plus the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.

While we are on Dudes…

Cleveland Brown Great
NW: Otto Graham vs SU: Jim Brown
Otto’s Edge: Push… Graham attended NW on a BBall schollie and was an All American in 1944. He also played 2 years of Baseball. Oddly he wore number 60 until the NFL put the rule in that linemen need to be numbers 50-79. His record with the Browns was 105-17-4, leading the team to 10 championship games in 10 seasons. He also played one season for the Rochester Royals (BBall), winning the league title.

Tecmo Super Bowl WR
NW: WR Curtis Duncan vs SU: WR Rob Carpenter
Otto’s Edge: SU… Duncan was almost impossible to get receptions for in that game as Hill, Givins, and Jeffires were the 3 best options.

Other Players of Note
NW: Paddy Driscoll, D’Wayne Bates, Steve Tasker, Napoleon Harris, Darnell Autry, Damien Anderson, Mike Adamle, Matt O’Dwyer, Luis Castillo, Barry Gardner vs SU: Donovan McNabb, Rob Moore, Joe Morris, Larry Csonka, Moose Johnston, Floyd Little, Jim Ringo, Tim Green, Ted Gregory
Otto’s Edge: SU… Driscoll is a HoFer, Autry finished 4th in the Heisman, and Adamle was host of American Gladiators but that still isn’t enough to beat out the SU players. Plus many more SU players of note were not mentioned above.

One of those players was…

NW: Conrad vs SU: Konrad
Otto’s Edge: NW… he is Eveready

Former FB players that turned actors
NW: Fred The Hammer Williamson vs SU: Jim Brown
Otto’s Edge: Push… both were Original Gangstas

They mixed sports and entertainment which is now a specialty of...

ESPN Alumni
NW: J.A. Adande, Kevin Blackistone, Rich Eisen, Mike Greenberg, Brent Musburger, Rachel Nichols, Dave Revsine, Michael Wilbon, Darren Rovell, Adam Rittenburg vs SU: Matthew Berry, Sean McDonough, Dave Pasch, Dave Ryan, Jayson Stark, Mike Tirico, Anish Shroff
Otto’s Edge: SU… sorry but you gave the world Rachel Nichols and need to be punished. Not only does she have no talent, she is hard to look at. Damn HD.

College Sports Writer
NW: Stewart Mandel vs SU: Pete Thamel
Otto’s Edge: Push… both work for Sports Illustrated which I didn’t know still existed.

Other Sports Alumni
NW: Luke Donald, Joe Girardi, Mark Loretta, Todd Martin, Debi Thomas, Matt Grevers vs SU: Melo, Derrick Coleman, Rony Seikaly
Otto’s Edge: SU… we certainly are more of a sports school

Sports Management Alumni
NW: Jerry Reinsdorf, Glen Grunwald vs SU: Al Davis, David Falk
Otto’s Edge: SU... two giants in their sport

Sticking with power...

School President Alumn
NW: Graham Spanier vs SU: Donna Shalala, Mark Emmert
Otto’s Edge: SU… nothing to say (whoops)

Political Alumni
NW: John Paul Stevens, William Jennings Bryan, Dick Gephardt, George McGovern, Adlai Stevenson, Rahm Emanuel vs SU: Al D'Amato, Joe Biden
Otto’s Edge: NW... they have bigger names despite SU having the current VP. Although their guys often lose, just like NW FB.

Sticking with failing...

Alumni that didn’t graduate
NW: Warren Beatty, Ann Margret, Cindy Crawford, Jane Curtin, Shelley Long, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jerry Orbach, Tony Randall, Hugh Hefner, Patti Davis vs SU: Lou Reed
Otto’s Edge: NW... that is a pretty nice list

Julia was on…

NW: Elaine vs SU: Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller)
Otto’s Edge: NW… she can drop him like a bag of dirt. Stiller also worked with NW grad Nicole Sullivan (Holly King of Queens)

Speaking of Queens…

Celebrity Apprentice
NW: Rob Blagojevich vs SU: Lisa Lampanelli
Otto’s Edge: NW… I liked him better after the show and her a lot less. Not that I thought she was funny in the first place.

From Queen of Mean to…

Miss America
NW: Jacquelyn Mayer, Katherine Shindle vs SU: Vanessa Williams
Otto’s Edge: NW… two to one and they kept their crowns

While we are on crowns, as in heads...

NW: Clancy Brown played Kurgan vs Connor MacLeod namesake from Syracuse
Otto's Edge: SU... well he does win in the end

Other well known alumni
NW: Ana Gasteyer (SNL), Charlton Heston, Richard Kind (Cousin Andy Curb), Jayne Atkinson (Karen Hayes 24), Jane Badler (Diana V), Zach Braff (Scrubs), Richard Kline (Larry Threes Company), Seth Meyers (SNL), Stephanie March (Law & Order SVU), Garry Marshall (creator Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, directed Pretty Woman), Charlotte Rae (Mrs Garrett), Robert Reed (Mike Brady), Jeri Ryan, David Schwimmer, Jerry Springer, McLean Stevenson (Colonel Blake M*A*S*H), Arthur Anderson, Edwin Booz and James Allen (Booz Allen Hamilton), Charles Mayo (Mayo Clinic) vs SU: Stephen Crane, Marv Albert, Len Berman, Bob Costas, Ian Eagle, Marty Glickman, Megyn Kelly, Ted Koppel, Steve Kroft, Bob Shannon, Dick Stockton, Dick Clark, Taye Diggs, Peter Falk, Carl Gottlieb, Grace Jones, Aaron Sorkin, Steve Rubell, Lexington Steele
Otto’s Edge: Push… those are impressive lists

Fake Alumnus
NW: Jim Levenstein (American Pie) vs SU: Sonny Koufax (Big Daddy)
Otto’s Edge: SU… Koufax is a good egg. But he fights like a girl.

Sticking with Big Daddy...

Daily Show
NW: Stephen Colbert (NW Grad) vs SU: Jon Stewart (played SU grad in Big Daddy)
Otto’s Edge: NW... SU needs no association with the unfunny Stewart, even if it is a fake association

Speaking of fake...

NW: two BBall players convicted of fixing games in 1995 vs SU: Carrier Dome has no AC
Otto’s Edge: SU… cheaters never win

Getting back to sports and a lack of winning…

NW: never made NCAAs, NIT QFs last year (best finish)  vs SU: haven’t won a NCAA title since 2003
Otto’s Edge: SU… I thought we have had it bad the last few years.

Greatest BBall player
NW: Evan Eschmeyer vs SU: Dave Bing
Otto’s Edge: SU… Mayor of Detroit takes this one

A sport NW is actually good at...

Womens Lax
NW: 7 of last 8 titles vs SU: lost in final to NW this year
Otto’s Edge: SU… we don’t have to play stall ball to win

While we are on women (not literally)...

Alpha Phi
NW: headquarters are in Evanston vs SU: founded the sorority
Otto’s Edge: Push… the real winners are male students

Now let’s put the women and children to bed and go lookin for dinner...

NW: Unos Grill vs SU: Dino BBQ
Otto’s Edge: Push... the winner here is our stomachs

While we are on pizza…

Style of Pizza
NW: Chicago vs SU: NY
Otto’s Edge: SU… thin crust is better by far

After dinner we can have an...

Ice Cream Sundae
NW: Evanston claims invented vs SU: Ithaca, Buffalo, and NYC all claim invented
Otto’s Edge: SU... we have them outnumbered

Some people may top their sundae with marshmallows, which NW students used to throw during FB games played at...

No one, and I mean no one, comes into our house and pushes us around (Home Field)
NW: Ryan Field (47150) vs SU: Carrier Dome (49250)
Otto’s Edge: NW… their stadium size is closer to the size of their fanbase. Ryan field was built in 1926. Before 1997 it was named Dyche Stadium. Parts of the Express were filmed there.

Other NW traditions include:

-Painting The Rock, a giant boulder used as a canvas/billboard
-Dance Marathon, a 30 hour dancing fundraiser. I think this started to Save Ferris.
-Primal Scream, 9pm the Sunday before finals students scream
-Dillo Day, an annual festival in May the Saturday after classes end. It started in 1972 and features an all day concert.

Staying with students…

Student size
NW: 19k vs SU: 20k
Otto’s Edge: SU… holy crap we are actually bigger than an opponent

Getting back to ice cream, my best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ashton Broyld at 31 Flavors last night. They said that SU maybe be running the...

NW: no huddle Spread vs SU: possibly the same?
Otto’s Edge: NW... I will believe we have changed when I see it

From Offense to Defense...

Bobby Boucher (best defender)
NW: Ibraheim Campbell vs SU: Shamwow
Otto’s Edge: Push… both Ss should be fun to watch

Philip Finch (biggest player and likely eater)
NW: Neal Deiters 6’8 315 lbs vs SU: Zion Jones 6’4 335
Otto’s Edge: SU… I heard he likes a nice juicy steak, medium rare, with little brown potatoes on the right side of the plate, ketchup on the left where some people waste space with vegetables. And for dessert a roast beef.

Jones may very well affect the outcome and our record...

Head to Head
NW: 4 wins vs SU: 5 wins
Otto’s Edge: SU… hopefully it will become 6-4 or it will be a long ride home in the Bluesmobile

Blue is not a...

School Color
NW: Purple and White vs SU: Orange
Otto’s Edge: SU… purple? The only thing worse would be pink and green.

And finally this year’s category of the week...

WWTD (what would Tebow do?)
NW: use ESPN alumni for hype vs SU: use ESPN alumni for hype
Otto's Edge: SU... with us he would feel more at home because he can also failure to score

There you have it folks, SU will pull out a 29-19 victory. And remember the numbers never lie. Enjoy the season cuz it goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. Then again that could be a good thing if our team sucks. Until next time danke schon, baby, danke schon.

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