Thursday, October 1, 2009

Tale of the Tape: South Florida at Syracuse

This week SU battles USF in the ToT. Once again they will be playing for Orange Bull Balls (come on you cant beat that!).

Born on Date
USF: 1956 vs SU: 1870
Ottos Edge: SU... my parents are older than USF, which was built on Henderson Air Field, an old WWII airstrip.

GPS (location)
USF: Tampa vs SU: Syracuse
Ottos Edge: USF… there is a reason people choose Tampa over Syracuse for vacay

Area known for
USF: sunshine, beaches and babes vs SU: snow, snow, and more snow
Ottos Edge: USF... sign me up

Speaking of babes…

Strip Club
USF: Mons Venus vs SU: Adult World
Ottos Edge: USF... where they show you their butt and their trap stays shut, at the nudie bar

While we are on bars…

Party district
USF: Ybor City vs SU: Armory Square
Ottos Edge: USF... they built this city on cigars

And sticking with drinking…

Joy of Beer
USF: free samples at Busch Gardens vs SU: actually sold at a CFB stadium
Ottos Edge: USF... you cant beat free beer

Staying with stadiums…

No one, and I mean no one, comes into our house and pushes us around (Home Field)
USF: Raymond James vs SU: Carrier Dome
Ottos Edge: SU... we have our own place

Inside the stadium you will find the….

USF: Herd of Thunder (HoT) vs SU: SUMB
Ottos Edge: SU... heard of lame names?

The band plays the…
Fight Song
USF: Golden Brahman March vs SU: Down the Field
Ottos Edge: SU… although we dont hear it often enough

That song is part of our FB tradition…

1st year of FB
USF: 1997 vs SU: 1889
Ottos Edge: SU... close, oh wait that is 1997 and not 1897

Some notes on USFs brief history:
They won their first game against Kentucky Wesleyan 80-3. They have never been shut out in a regular season game. Their only shut out L was their 100th game in the Meinke Bowl (14-0 NC St).

All Time Ws
USF: 90 vs SU: 676
Ottos Edge: SU... about 7.5 times as great

Head to Head
USF 4 Ws vs SU 0 Ws
Ottos Edge: USF… but will they keep the shut out going?

Bowl Games
USF: 2-2 vs SU: 12-9-1
Ottos Edge: SU... slight edge

USF: UCF vs SU: ???
Ottos Edge: USF… wait a minute they have been a program for a dozen years and have a rival but we dont? WTF?

We are going streaking
USF: at one time had a 21 game home W streak vs SU: 15 straight winning seasons (1987-2001)
Ottos Edge: SU… a lot of those 21 games werent against real teams, while our streak was legit.

From streaks to…

Circus freaks
USF: live in area during winter vs SU: only come when circus is in town
Ottos Edge: SU... they are scary. Although they usually have some midgets.

Speaking of Freaks…

Crazy local
USF: Tony Little vs SU: Tom Cruise
Ottos Edge: USF... you can do it

As long as you train, say your prayers, and eat your vitamins….

USF: Terry Bollea vs SU: Mike Rotunda
Ottos Edge: USF... he is the greatest of all time brother

Terry is also known as…

MSG Hero
USF: Hulk Hogan vs SU: GMac
Ottos Edge: SU... an atomic leg drop isnt as devastating as a GMac bomb. Whatcha gonna do when GMac goes wild on you?

Games at MSG are often aired on…

USF: Ann Liguori vs SU: Mark Malusis
Ottos Edge: SU... she couldnt be any more annoying, boring, or clueless

Sticking with The Fan…

Zero Point Zero (alumnus who didnt graduate)
USF: Mike Francessa vs SU: Lou Reed
Ottos Edge: SU… maybe one day Adam Schein can be as big as Mike (his career not his waist)

And continuing with sports…

USF: Lightening vs SU: Crunch
Ottos Edge: USF... NHL beats AHL but how does Florida have an NHL team? It just doesnt seem right

Minor League Baseball
USF: Tampa Yanks vs SU: Chiefs
Ottos Edge: USF... baseball season lasts a month in Syracuse

Horse racing
USF: Tampa Downs vs SU: Vernon Downs
Ottos Edge: USF... and while you are in the area you can hit the greyhound track too

Mail used to be brought by horseback aka the Pony…

USF: Serengheti at Busch Gardens vs SU: Elmira
Ottos Edge: SU... ED was faster

Staying on trains and travel…

USF: Streetcars vs SU: Centro
Ottos Edge: USF... trolleys are cool

But they cant get you to…

USF: Florida 's the boot of America vs SU: Siracusa, Sicily
Ottos Edge: USF... better to be the boot than the ball

While we are on balls…

USF: Bolitas vs SU: State run
Ottos Edge: USF... tax free if you win

Sticking with the underworld…

USF: Lowry Park vs SU: Burnet Park
Ottos Edge: USF... where you can also see Henry Hill and Jimmy Conway holding people over the lion cage.

USF: Santo Trafficante Jr vs SU: Conn Mafia
Ottos Edge: USF... he was rumored to be involved in the Kennedy assassination

Speaking of Kennedy…

JFK link
USF: alum Ruth Paine (friend of Oswald's Wife) vs SU: commencement speaker as a Senator
Ottos Edge: SU... how can you be friends with a Commie?

We were protected from Commies by soldiers stationed at...

Military Base
USF: MacDill Air Force Base vs SU: Fort Drum
Ottos Edge: USF... it is home to US Central Command and US Special Operations Command

Who give us the freedom to choose…

Miss America
USF: Nicole Johnson (1999) vs SU: Vanessa Williams (1983)
Ottos Edge: SU... we have the first African American Heisman winner and Miss America winner. Although she lost the crown due to nude photos.

While we are on controversies…

Controversial alum
USF: Debra Lafave (teacher got with a student) vs SU: Marv Albert
Ottos Edge: SU... getting with a student is wrong. Plus who hasnt worn women's underwear?

But he was also accused of biting, which is often associated with…

Scary Movie
USF: Once Bitten (Lauren Hutton alum) vs SU: Jaws (Carl Gottlieb alum)
Ottos Edge: USF... I rather be bitten by Hutton than a shark

And vampires suck just like…

Nick Carter
USF: lived in Tampa vs SU: born Jamestown
Ottos Edge: Push... there are no winners here.

Famous Alumni
USF: Tony La Rusa, Elayne Boosler, Mark Consuelos (Kelly Ripa hubie) vs SU: Marty Glickman, John Zogby, Megyn Kelly (Fox News)
Ottos Edge: SU… we can add many more to that list

Sticking with famous people…

NFL look alike
USF: Leavitt looks like Jim Haslett vs SU: ARob looks like Chad Pennington
Ottos Edge: Push... none of the four have been a smashing success

Speaking of smashing...

USF: Gallagher vs SU: Marcy (or my fav who will be at the game for home coming)
Ottos Edge: SU... juicy

Sticking with food…

Let's put the women and children to bed and go lookin' for dinner
USF: Outback vs SU Dino
Ottos Edge: SU… OSI Restaurant Partners (Carrabbas, Outback) HQ is in Tampa
Which is why the Outback Bowl is in Tampa .

Staying with Bowls…

Major sporting event
USF: Super Bowls vs SU: Sweet 16s
Ottos Edge: USF... its the biggest event of the year

Another big event…

City holds State Fair of
USF: Florida vs SU: NY
Ottos Edge: SU... NY is the emperor of states
Florida is the sunshine state.

Speaking of sun…

USF: Sun vs SU: Carrier
Ottos Edge: SU... loud house wins this one. Interesting note the Sun Dome opened in 1980 as well (November) but broke ground in 1977 (vs 1979 for SU).

Sticking with buildings…

Structure easily seen from higway
USF: Sulphur Springs Water Tower vs SU: Lawrinson
Ottos Edge: SU... one holds something to drink the other people who drink

While we are on dorms…

School known as
USF: commuter school (13% live on campus) vs SU: communications School
Ottos Edge: SU... 99.9% of the reason to go to college is to get away from the parents

Not only are they not getting away they obviously must be partying hard…

USF: Tier 3 vs SU: Tier 1
Ottos Edge: SU… with all these academic powers in the BE, Memphis would be an awful fit should the BE expand

Getting back to the student body…
USF: 9th largest in country vs SU: small private school
Ottos Edge: USF... larger pool of hotties.

Which means they have a larger circulated…

School Paper
USF: The Oracle which was first student paper to use color vs SU: Daily Orange
Ottos Edge: SU... we are good cuz of content not pretty colors

Sticking with color…

USF: what you pick off trees vs SU: what you call your teams
Ottos Edge: USF... oranges are healthy, watching SU the last four years wasnt

The most famous orange…

USF: Rocky the Bull vs SU: Otto the Orange
Ottos Edge: SU... Otto can roll over any opposing mascot

We dont have to fear Rocky but do have to fear...

Bobby Boucher (best current defender)
USF: George Selvie vs SU: Art Jones
Ottos Edge: USF… he may get more sacks then SU points

Speaking of sacks, as in "in the sack"…

Great Fictional Character
USF: Drew, Office Space "O Face" guy (Greg Pitts USF Alum) vs Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller)
Ottos Edge: SU… however our O could cause some unhappy faces Sat

And finally the category of the week...

Competitive Slim Jim Eater
USF: Randy Macho Man Savage (Tampa local) vs SU: Doug Marrone
Ottos Edge: SU… oooooh ya! Dig it!

And the winner of the Tattoo is…

The Syracuse Orange as the win a back and forth battle.

1 comment:

Poncho Sinatra said...

One of the best lists I have ever read, keep it up-great job!

Anytime you can bring Terry Hogan and Macho man into the same list, it's golden!


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