Thursday, November 26, 2009

Tale of the Tape: Syracuse at UConn

Welcome to the final ToT. Not only of the season but EVER. The ToT will be retiring and hopes to go out on a high note. Lets get a reaction from TGD:

"I think it probably should be retired. I think it's very difficult to try to fulfill the shoes of the ToT. I can't think of a better time than right now. In my heart it is overdue a little bit. Remember the past, respect the future. Everyone was looking for the next ToT, the next Ernie Davis, the next Jim Brown, the next Michael Jordan, the next Babe Ruth. With all due respect, I think this is the right time."

I know how sad you all are so lets take our minds off of it by looking at the upcoming match up between the Orange of Syracuse and the Huskies of Connecticut. The teams will do battle for a Highway 44 Tattoo. The highway starts in Kerhonkson, NY and travels through CT and RI, before ending in Plymouth, MA.

1. Born on Date
UConn: 1881 vs SU: 1870
Ottos Edge: SU... UConn was founded as Storrs Agricultural School

2. GPS (location)
UConn: the middle of nowhere vs SU: a city
Ottos Edge: SU... unless you are an Aggie (as the UConn teams once were) or like Ram-napping (as they used to do to Rhode Islands mascot)

3. Edumacation
UConn: 66th (US News) vs SU: 58th
Ottos Edge: SU… cant believe UConn is that high

Their ranking must be carried by...

4. Top program for
UConn: Puppetry vs SU: Communications
This is a hard one to call so I will defer to Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog…

Thank you. Thank you. I am so pleased to be here. God what has come of my career. I keed, I keed. I love King Ottos work. He is so great that I would like to sniff his butt. Anyway the Ottos Edge here goes to UConn. They truly are a great school... for me to poop on!

5. School paper
UConn: Daily Campus vs SU: Daily Orange
Ottos Edge: SU… ours is top notch

6. Mascot
UConn: Jonathan vs SU: Otto
Ottos Edge: SU... War Otto.

Speaking of war, Jonathan was named after Jonathan Trumbull, who was the only Colonial Gov to side with the Americans during the Revolution.

While we are on history…

7. FB history
UConn: none vs SU: tons
Ottos Edge: UConn... who cares look at their nice facilities

8. First year of FB
UConn 1896 vs SU 1889
Ottos Edge: SU... 1896 if you want to call that football. More like 2000, when they joined D1A.

9. All Time Ws
UConn: 469 vs SU: 678
Ottos Edge: SU… and their Ws are against a weak schedule

10. Biggest Bowl W
UConn: ’04 Motor City Bowl vs SU: '59 Cotton Bowl
Ottos Edge: UConn... the Motor City Bowl is basically the SuperBowl, plus they beat Toledo !

11. BE Titles
UConn: 1 vs SU: 4
Ottos Edge: SU... boy this conf sucks if UConn can share a title

12. Head to Head
UConn: 3 wins vs SU: 2 wins
Ottos Edge: UConn... thanks GRob

13. Rivalry with BC
UConn: is BCs bitch vs SU: BC is our bitch
Ottos Edge: UConn… they threatened a law suit if I didnt pick them

14. All Time QB
UConn: Dan Orlovsky vs SU: McNabb
Ottos Edge: SU… slight edge

15. All Time RB
UConn: Walt Trojanowski vs SU: Jim Brown
Ottos Edge: SU… easy win

Sticking with FB players…

16. Dwight Freeney grew up
UConn: in state vs SU: as player
Ottos Edge: SU... he would be in the Arena League if he went to UConn

Speaking of arenas…

17. No one, and I mean no one, comes into our house and pushes us around (Home Field)
UConn: Rent (40k) vs SU: Dome
Ottos Edge: SU… fitting that they have a MAC sized stadium

Both stadium names come from…

18. United Technologies
UConn: Pratt & Whitney donated Rentschler airfield to Conn vs SU: Carrier put up money for the Dome
Ottos Edge: UConn... theirs was a gift to the state while ours ended up being one of the worst deals of all time

Speaking of gifts...

19. CTO
UConn: lives there vs SU: went to school there
Ottos Edge: SU... we have the buildings to prove it

20. Stadium located
UConn: not even close to campus vs SU: on campus
Ottos Edge: SU... nuttin like having to take a long bus trip to a home game for UConn

While we are on trips…

21. Fans travel
UConn: only to home games vs SU: up and down the eastern seaboard
Ottos Edge: UConn... you try traveling to a pasture to watch a game

Speaking of pasture, we put GRob out to pasture and now have…

22. Coach
UConn: HCRE vs SU: Marrone
Ottos Edge: SU… both are SU guys. UConn also has Ferentz as an alum

Sticking with coaches…

23. NFL Coach
UConn: Steve Spagnuolo vs SU: Coughlin
Ottos Edge: SU... we miss you Steve

24. BBall coach
UConn: JC vs SU: JB
Ottos Edge: SU... B comes before C, who is a miserable prick

25. BBall HC at another school
UConn: Tom Penders (alum) vs SU: Pitino (asst)
Ottos Edge: SU... a little more successful

Speaking of success...

26. Owe BBall and FB success to
UConn: Syracuse teams paving the way vs SU: no one we are self made
Ottos Edge: UConn... why do the hard work?

27. Fans also love
UConn: Womens BBall vs SU: Lax
Ottos Edge: SU... and they like their soccer too. That tells a lot.

Staying with Womens Hoops…

28. Former womens BBaller married
UConn: ex SI writer (Lobo to Steve Rushin) vs SU: NFL star QB (Raquel Nurse to McNabb)
Ottos Edge: SU... I cant believe Lobo met a man. Thinking of her makes me want to McPuke

You can also puke from drinking too much…

29. Beer sales
UConn: cannot be done after 8pm vs SU: anytime you want
Ottos Edge: SU... nuttin like a late night run to the Nice N Easy (while drunk and underage) and having no problem getting beer. Aaaah college.

Speaking of drinking…

30. JFK link
UConn: Ed Kennedy Jr alum vs SU: JFK spoke at commencement
Ottos Edge: SU... BTW how is Ted and Ed the same?

Sticking with politics…

31. Cant believe they elected
UConn: Joe Liberman vs SU: Hillary Clinton
Ottos Edge: Push... there are no winners here

32. People in state wear sweaters
UConn: around neck vs SU: like you should
Ottos Edge: SU... how annoying is that?

Speaking of annoying…

33. The Devils spawn
UConn: Chris Berman was born in state vs SU: Tom Cruise was born in area
Ottos Edge: SU... atleast we got rid of our demon child. Berman still lives there.

Berman thinks he can play in a…

34. Band
UConn: The Monkees (Peter Tork went to HS in Storrs ) vs SU The Velvet Underground (Lou Reed alum)
Ottos Edge: UConn... not a trace of doubt in my mind

But Berman is really just a…

35. Round short dude
UConn: Khalid El Amin vs SU: Otto
Ottos Edge: SU... Otto is cute and cuddly. El Amin is just a fat boy.

Speaking of fat boys…

36. Producer
UConn: Julius Nasso (Steven Seagal movies) vs SU: Dick Clark (everything on TV)
Ottos Edge: UConn... I couldnt imagine a world without those great Steven Seagal movies. Too bad he ate himself out of a career.

Staying with movies...

37. Dennis Quaid
UConn: was married to Meg Ryan vs SU: played Ben in the Express
Ottos Edge: Push... if I had to spend the rest of my life watching the Express or being married to her, I'd take the Express

Sticking with the entertainment industry...

38. Weird Musician
UConn: Moby (dropped out) vs SU: Grace Jones
Ottos Edge: SU... she could kick his ass

39. Actor whose face you know but dont know their name
UConn: Tony Todd (24 General Juma) vs SU: Vera Farmiga (The Departed chick)
Ottos Edge: SU... I wasnt a big fan of the way The Departed ended. I like it when the Detective gets the bad guy just like...

40. 1970s TV guy
UConn: Ron Palillo (Horshack from Welcome back, Kotter) vs SU: Peter Falk (Columbo)
Ottos Edge: SU... just one more thing...

Let's put the women and children to bed and go lookin' for dinner

41. Pizza
UConn: New Haven style (no mozzarella) vs SU: NY style
Ottos Edge: SU... more cheese please

42. Eatery
UConn: Subway started in Conn vs SU: Dino
Ottos Edge: SU... maybe Jared likes $5 foot longs but I like manly food

Sticking with manly things...

43. Wrassling
UConn: WWE HQ vs SU: Mike Rotunda
Ottos Edge: UConn... that is where the magic happens

And finally the category of the week...

44. Competitive Eating: Who can eat the most Goldfish (Pepperidge Farm started in Conn)
UConn: Chris Berman vs SU: Doug Marrone
Ottos Edge: SU... no one circles the wagons like Doug Marrone

And the Tattoo goes to...

The Syracuse Orange as they win one for the ToT. That alone is motivation enough to spank the Huskies.

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