Thursday, November 8, 2007

Tale of the Tape: USF vs Syracuse

Established
USF: 1956 vs SU: 1870
Advantage: SU... my parents are older than USF, which was built on Henderson Air Field an old WWII airstrip.

Enrollment
USF: 9th largest in country vs SU: small private school
Advantage: USF... larger pool of hotties

School known as
USF: commuter school vs SU: communications School
Advantage: SU... 99.9% of the reason to go to college is to get away from parents and party

School Paper
USF: The Oracle which was first student paper to use color vs SU: Daily Orange
Advantage: SU... we are good cuz of content not pretty colors

Sticking with color…

Orange
USF: what you pick off trees vs SU: what you call your teams
Advantage: USF... oranges are healthy, watching SU isn’t

But it wasn’t always that way…

1st year of FB
USF: 1997 vs SU: 1889
Advantage: SU... close oh wait that is 1997 and not 1897

Some notes on USFs brief history:
Lost first game to Kentucky Wesleyan 80-3.
That maybe bad but they have never been shut out in a regular season game. Their only shut out L was their 100th game in the Meinke Bowl (14-0 NC St).
USF at one time had a 21 game home W streak.

All Time Ws
USF: 76 vs SU: 670
Advantage: SU... who has nearly 9x as many

Bowl Games
USF: 1-1 vs SU: 12-9-1
Advantage: SU... slight edge

Stadium
USF: Raymond James vs SU: Carrier Dome
Advantage: SU... we have our own place

Mascot
USF: Rocky the Bull vs SU: Otto the Orange
Advantage: SU... Otto can roll over any opposing mascot

Band
USF: Herd of Thunder (HoT) vs SU: Sour Citrus Society
Advantage: SU... heard of lame names?

The band plays the…

Fight Song
USF: Golden Brahman March vs SU: Down the Field
Advantage: SU… just because

Coach looks like
USF: Jim Haslett vs SU: Bam Bam
Advantage: USF… even Bam Bam knows SU should use the Spread instead of the WCO

Bam Bam had an early version of the Sledge-O-Matic…

Watermelons
USF: Gallagher (alum) vs SU: Marcy
Advantage: SU... juicy

Sticking with melons…

Strip Club
USF: Mons Venus vs SU: Adult World
Advantage: USF... where they show you their butt and their trap stays shut, at the nudie bar

Speaking of paradise…

Area known for
USF: sunshine, beaches and babes vs SU: snow, snow, and more snow
Advantage: USF... sign me up

While we are on sun…

Dome
USF: Sun vs SU: Carrier
Advantage: SU... loud house wins this one. Interesting note the Sun Dome opened in 1980 as well (November) but broke ground in 1977 (vs 1979 for SU).

Other notable building…

Tallest Structure
USF: Sulphur Springs Water Tower vs SU: Lawrinson
Advantage: SU.. one holds something to drink the other people who drink

And one can go drink in the…

Party district
USF: Ybor City vs SU: Armory Square
Advantage: USF... they built this city on cigars

Staying with the…

Joy of Beer
USF: free samples at Busch Gardens vs SU: actually sold at a CFB stadium
Advantage: USF... you cant beat free beer

And you also cant beat good eats…

Restaurant
USF: Outback vs SU: Dino
Advantage: SU… OSI Restaurant Partners (Carrabbas, Outback) HQ is in Tampa

Which is why the Outback Bowl is in Tampa. Speaking of Bowl…

Major sporting event
USF: SuperBowl vs SU: Sweet 16
Advantage: USF... its the biggest event of the year

Another big event…

City holds State Fair of
USF: Florida vs SU: NY
Advantage: SU... NY is the emperor of states

Fairs often have carnies and…

Circus freaks
USF: live in area during winter vs SU: only come when circus is in town
Advantage: SU... they are scary. Although there usually are some midgets.

Speaking of Freaks…
Crazy local
USF: Tony Little vs SU: Tom Cruise
Advantage: USF... you can do it

As long as you train, say your prayers, and eat your vitamins….

Wrassler
USF: Terry Bollea vs SU: Mike Rotunda
Advantage: USF... he is the greatest of all time brother

MSG Hero
USF: Hulk Hogan vs SU: GMac
Advantage: SU... an atomic leg drop isnt as devastating as a GMac bomb. Whatcha gonna do when GMac goes wild on you?

MSG games are often aired on…

WFAN
USF: Ann Liguori vs SU: Mark Malusis
Advantage: SU... she couldnt be any more annoying, boring, or clueless

Sticking with the Fan…
USF: Mike Francessa was a student vs SU: Adam Schein
Advantage: USF… maybe one day Adam can be as big as Mike (his career not his waist)

And continuing with sports…

Hockey
USF: Lightening vs SU: Crunch
Advantage: USF... NHL beats AHL but how does Florida have an NHL team. It just doesnt seem right

Minor League Baseball
USF: Tampa Yanks vs SU: Skychiefs
Advantage: USF... baseball season lasts a month in Syracuse

Horse racing
USF: Tampa Downs vs SU: Vernon Downs
Advantage: USF... and while you are in the area you can hit the greyhound track too

Mail used to be brought by horseback aka the Pony…

Express
USF: Serengheti at Busch Gardens vs SU: Elmira
Advantage: SU... ED was faster

Staying on trains and travel…

Transportation
USF: Streetcars vs SU: OnTrak
Advantage: USF... trolleys are cool

But they cant get you to…

Italy
USF: Florida's the boot of America vs SU: Siracusa, Sicily
Advantage: USF... better to be the boot than the ball

While we are on balls…

Lottos
USF: Bolitas vs SU: State run
Advantage: USF... tax free if you win

Sticking with the underworld…

Zoo
USF: Lowry Park vs SU: Burnet Park
Advantage: USF... where you can also see Henry Hill and Jimmy Conway holding people over the lion cage.

Mob Boss
USF: Santo Trafficante Jr vs SU: Stefano Magaddino (Buffalo)
Advantage: USF... he was rumored to be involved in the Kennedy assassination

Speaking of Kennedy…

JFK link
USF: alum Ruth Paine (friend of Oswald's Wife) vs SU: commencement speaker as a Senator Advantage: SU... how can you be friends with a Commie

We were protected from Commies by soldiers stationed at...

Military Bases
USF: MacDill Air Force Base vs SU: Fort Drum
Advantage: USF... it is home to US Central Command and US Special Operations Command

Who give us the freedom to choose…

Miss America
USF: Nicole Johnson (1999) vs SU: Vanessa Williams (1983)
Advantage: SU... we have the first African American Heisman winner and Miss America winner. Although she lost the crown due to nude photos.

While we are on controversy…

Controversial alum
USF: Debra Lafave (teacher got with student) vs SU: Marv Albert
Advantage: SU... getting with a student is wrong. Plus who hasnt worn women's underwear

But he was also accused of biting, which is often associated with…

Scary Movie
USF: Once Bitten (Lauren Hutton alum) vs SU: Jaws (Carl Gottlieb alum)
Advantage: USF... I rather be bitten by Hutton than a shark

And vampires suck just like…

Nick Carter
USF: lived in Tampa vs SU: born Jamestown
Advantage: Push... there are no winners here.

Other Alumni
USF: Tony La Rusa, Elayne Boosler, Mark Consuelos (Kelly Ripa hubie) vs SU: Marty Glickman, John Zogby, Megyn Kelly (Fox News)
Advantage: SU… we can add many more to that list

And finally this year’s weekly category…

Bizarro Swish (aka manly guy who kicks ass)
USF: Hulk Hogan vs SU: Derrick Coleman
Advantage: Push… both were once badass but are now out of shape


There you have it folks. SU continues USF’s slide from number 2 to number irrelivant. And remember the numbers never lie.

1 comment:

Jurrie said...

enjoyable as always....

We'd all get into it more if GRob could get some more 'W's.

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